What to do if my boyfriend is “Bi?”
Since Frank Ocean came out of his closet many other men have been trying to make their way out also. Bi-sexual men to my understanding like to have sex with men and women. To a heterosexual man such as myself it really means that he is gay but doesn’t want to come out all the way. It’s hard to imagine a man enjoying both sex with a male and sex with a female. Unless he’s filled with an extreme lust, but that isn’t fair to either one of his partners. Being that I’ve been getting this question from women about what to do with their bi-sexual boyfriend I know that there are many women dating bi-sexual men and don’t know it yet.
My question is: do you think it’s fair that he sleeps with a man and sleeps with you? Do you want the instrument that has been inside a man’s rectum then coming and being inserted in you? Do you feel that a man that is feminine enough to be intimate with another man is also masculine enough to lead you and your household? These are just a few questions I’d ask women in this predicament.
Deep down I believe those men truthfully love one and hate the other but are so torn by society that they walk the line instead of choosing a side. If in fact they do want to partake in both men and women then it becomes immaturity, selfishness, greed, and an inability to deny the lust of the flesh.
We are all born with predispositions but it’s our job to war against those things if they are immoral. Heterosexual men that are married like myself have an urge to sleep with other beautiful women just as that bi-sexual man has an urge to sleep with other men. Just because we feel this urge doesn’t make it OK to give into it. A heterosexual man could argue “I was born this way.” So does it make it OK for him to sleep around because he was born that way? Absolutely not. It’s important that we ignore our feelings and obey our conscience. Feelings will get us in trouble.
It’s unfair to any woman to be with a bi-sexual man. I hope that all men would be honest about their sexuality and stop playing the middle and endangering lives and hearts with sexual promiscuity in the name of a biological disposition. Cheating is immoral and it takes maturity to abstain from it.
Let him go and love him from a distance. Pray for his well-being and his sanity on his journey to find self. Don’t be a man’s test dummy waiting to be heart broken. If he’s shown you who he is then believe him and keep it moving.
Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
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