Love vs In Love..
Love is so many things! By the actual definition of love it ranges from a sexual attraction or affection for someone all the way to being “in love.” There is a lot of couples that love one another but are not in love with one another and don’t know it yet.
In case you didn’t know a person can love their partner and still cheat on them with someone else. It happens everyday. Many of you reading this may have cheated emotionally or physically on your partner at sometime but you’d claim that you “love” your partner. That is why so many people ask the question: can you love two people at one time? And the answer is, yes! Love can be very superficial at levels only because there are so many dynamics to LOVE!
You see, love is created. Therefore we can love anyone we desire to. Love is created through conversation and quality time. A bond is formed but not always an eternal bond. There can be love for a reason, season, or a lifetime. It’s the latter that is rarely found.
To love someone can simply mean:
- You care for their well-being
- You’d care if they died
- You’d sacrifice your time
- You’d sacrifice of yourself
- You’re deeply attracted
- You appreciate their role in your life
- You had to work hard enough to get their affection that you created love in the process
But to be “in love” can go much deeper. It’s very possible to be in lust and then fall out of love. If you get what I mean. A lot of people are “in lust” but calling it “in love” and then one day they don’t feel the same and they say they fell out of love. They actually fell out of lust. Very few people fall in love and once you reach that point it’s most often past the point of return and that is why we commit for a lifetime when we marry. Not that marriage is always an accurate depiction of our true feelings; hence divorce exists.
To be in love means:
- Everything that love is… plus
- You put their needs before your own
- You love them from the inside-out (it’s much more than a physical attraction)
- It’s unconditional
- You’re willing to spend a lifetime with them
- You will not cheat
- You will not be dishonest
- You dedicate your existence to bringing them happiness
- and the list could go on for eternity
No one can fully define love because it’s an extension of God. And to say one fully understands all that love is would be saying one can fully understand God and those two will forever be mysterious in many ways.
I can say this; if you can fall in love with God first then it makes it so much easier to fall in love with your partner. You may not understand that until you get there though.
I’ll also say: when you get to the point that you can not cheat on your partner, lie to your partner, deceive your partner, or mislead your partner, at that point you are “in love.” Until then you are in training.
Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
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