Our world has become infatuated with celebrities. I don’t know why really but I’ve never been a fan of man. I admire a person’s gift but never do I worship a human or spend my last dime to invest in something they’ve produced. Many people today put a celebrity before God. They’ll spend everything in their account to go to a concert but won’t put a good offering in the plate at Church.

People need a hero. But why? What makes you hold your breath until your favorite artist’s next release? What makes you curse anyone out that speaks their mind against the celebrity you adore? What makes you buy into and believe anything and everything your favorite celebrity releases?

Do you not feel worthy of your own light? Do they give you hope? Have they helped you pay a bill? Have they inspired you to create something of your own? Will they go to bat for you when you need them to? If you see them on the street will they stop and take the time to talk with you? Make sure that you can answer yes to at least one of those questions. It’s OK to admire someone but don’t worship them.

I see a lot of “stans,” “fans,” and “team this and team that.” Let me ask you; who’s your fan? Who’s your stan? Who’s on your team? What will you create that can change lives or the world?

If you put a human on a pedestal then all they can do is look down on you. If you treat a human like a celebrity then they will treat you like a fan. If you treat a human like a star then all they will do is shine on you. God didn’t make celebrities, we did.

Worship God, not man. Fight for those that will fight for you. Humans were not meant to be gods, we are mere mortals. That is why whenever we put a human in a godlike position it kills them before they are ready to go. Humans aren’t meant to be worshiped, only God is.

Worship the creator, not the creature.

Signed,

Tony Gaskins Jr.

ecuxse any tpyos ….

Everyday I talk to people that say they are ready for love but the truth is they aren’t. How do you know you’re ready for love? When you truly start loving yourself! What does loving yourself mean? It means that you are doing the best you can in every area of your life. It’s not good enough to have a great body but no business. It’s not good enough to have a great business/career but a bad body. It’s not good enough to have a great body and great business but no real knowledge about the opposite sex, real love, and a real relationship.

I go around the country teaching about the 3B’s. If you haven’t made it to a seminar yet then here you go!!

Your Brain: You have to get new knowledge. Read every book and take every class and go to every seminar you can. Absorb all of the information that you believe will truly add to your life! If it won’t add to your life in a positive way then throw it out. If it asks you to degrade or demean yourself then throw it out. But if it uplifts and empowers you then accept it. If you don’t know love then someone will teach you how to hate and then you’ll confuse the two.

I have a few things that can get your mind together!

1. My book Mrs. Right

2. My Love School

3. My Retreat

Next is…

Your Brand: Your brand is very important. Your brand represents individuality. It means that you are working on yourself and building a legacy that will outlive you. It means that you aren’t waiting to be rescued and also that you’ve tapped into your purpose. If you don’t build your own dreams then someone will hire you to help build theirs. It’s important that you identify something that you can build and get started.

I have a few things that will help you get your brand together

1. My Entrepreneur University

2. My Life Coaching Certification Program

2. My ebook “The Road To Destiny”

Lastly..

Your Body: Your body is most important to the natural eye. Attraction is the first element of chemistry. If you don’t take care of your body then how do you expect someone to be attracted to you enough to approach you. It’s important that you invest in yourself and hire a trainer and a nutritionist. If you can’t afford that then at least spend $150 and buy a workout plan and meal plan. You don’t need a diet; you need a lifestyle change. Men and women can be very superficial and it’s hard to get someone to love you if you can’t even get them to like you first. So attract them with your appearance and then seal the deal with the intangibles. No matter what you look like or how much you weigh there is something you can do to be better. I urge you to take action and stop making excuses and expecting God to work a miracle if you’re unwilling to work!

If you’d like to purchase a workout plan and meal plan then please email my lovely wife-> GetFabnFit@gmail.com

I want you take your life serious and really start working on yourself to attract what you want in life. We don’t attract what we want, we attract what we are; so if you want it then reflect it! I wrote this blog in such a way that you can’t make any more excuses. Everything you need is right at your finger tips, you just have to be willing to take action!

You’re not waiting on love. Love is waiting on you!

*excuse any typos.. this was typed really fast..

In this day matchmaking is on a rise in our society. Many individuals are too busy to get out and “market” themselves so they are turning to professional matchmaking instead.

How does matchmaking work:

Typically the matchmaker talks to the client and gets a full assessment of what he/she is looking for in a mate. The matchmaker gets all pertinent info ranging from height to living situation. Everything that needs to be asked will be asked and the matchmaker will have a complete list of qualifications for your potential partner. In most cases you will be set up on at least two dates per paid-month. You will also get to have a recap call with your matchmaker after each date. It’s pretty much like eharmony on steroids.

What are the benefits to matchmaking:

There are some benefits to matchmaking like convenience, spontaneity, thrill, and an overall intriguing experience to add to the books. It’s almost like getting to handpick a potential partner and then sitting back and waiting for them to be delivered to you.

Who is matchmaking for:

It’s really more suited for the extremely busy type, introverted type, or the high-profile type. Individuals that don’t fit in any of those categories usually prefer to do their own matchmaking; or waiting for it to happen organically as they’d call it.

How much does it cost:

Matchmaking is usually $400/month and up. Some matchmakers charge up to $2,500/month, or you’ll get a flat fee like $5,000-$10,000 for a 6-12 month period and a guaranteed nmber of dates.

What are the different types of matchmaking:

There is virtual matchmaking where the matchmaker sits in their office and finds your date from within their network, or there is live matchmaking where you fly your matchmaker to your city and they hunt for your potential partner in person. The latter is of course more expensive.

If  you’d like to find a matchmaker for whatever reason(s) you may have then please email me at

advice@tonygaskins.com

Please be serious and ready to go!!

It’s said that 1 in 5 relationships are started online today. People have the ability to fulfill fantasies, flirt, front, fake and do whatever else they want to do on social media. 90% of my relationship coaching clients are women so I hear it from women the most about their man being inappropriate on social media sites. I can tell you this as a married man with a wife that I highly respect and fear (lol), I will not try my wife like that. If your man is liking a woman’s half naked pics on instagram, flirting on his twitter timeline, sexting in his DM box, and emotionally cheating in his facebook inbox then he does not respect you. He does not feel as if he’s met his wife. He feels that he’s with an OK woman but could find someone better and he is constantly looking for your replacement. If he doesn’t find anyone else he will stay with you if you let him but if he does meet a woman that impresses him more then he will be on the next train out of your life.

So please beware if you keep catching your man behaving inappropriately online, it’s foreshadowing what’s to come and it’s a precursor to his infidelity. You have to shut it down now! You have to let him know that you don’t play those games and that he shouldn’t do anything that he wouldn’t want you doing. If he doesn’t mind you behaving the same way he does then he doesn’t feel he’s doing anything wrong nor does he feel you all are in a real relationship. If he would flip out if you did it then he’s admitting to his guilt and letting you know that a taste of his own medicine will make him sick!

If you allow the small things like that to go unanswered then you’re setting yourself up for the big things to happen. You’re teaching him that it’s OK to play you like a fool. You’re teaching him it’s OK to flirt and emotionally cheat. You’re setting yourself up for failure. Put your foot down now or pay for it later.

God Bless,

Tony A. Gaskins

www.TonyGaskins.com

please grab your copy of my bestseller “Mrs. Right” on Amazon.com or your e-reader (ibooks, nook, kindle,etc)

If you have to wonder if a man likes you or not then he probably doesn’t..

Women’s feelings are oftentimes much more complex than a man’s feelings. A man either likes you or he doesn’t. There are rarely in between feelings. Most people in general want what they can’t have. It’s a human need to be accepted and we feel a sense of acceptance when we can have something that once felt unattainable. Therefore sometimes a man can seem really into a woman and then when he gets her, things change. For women the opposite usually happens. A woman may be just friends with a man or thinks he’s an OK person and then finally he grows on her and he gets her and her feelings sky rocket through the roof. Now she’s head over heels and he’s acting like he always had it like that. Then his feelings begin to fade and he stops doing the things he did in the beginning and now she’s confused!

Some signs that he’s not really into you anymore:

• He claims you’re rushing things
• He is more distant than usual (insert another woman here)
• He’s more irritable than usual
• He blames you for everything going wrong in the relationship
• Your intuition is telling you he’s not into you
• He’s on and off
• He texts more than calls
• Your intuition is telling you that there’s another woman

What can you do about it?

I want to give you those secrets on this blog but thousands of men will read this very blog and then those things won’t work. So email me and we will set up a coaching session. If he once was into you but now he’s changed it may be the “ugly duckling syndrome” that he’s caught and I will teach you how to cure it if it’s worth it.

God bless,

Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

Mrs. Right-> http://amzn.to/AcKPb2

*to submit a question for my blog or sign up for relationship coach please email advice@tonygaskins.com

Since Frank Ocean came out of his closet many other men have been trying to make their way out also. Bi-sexual men to my understanding like to have sex with men and women. To a heterosexual man such as myself it really means that he is gay but doesn’t want to come out all the way. It’s hard to imagine a man enjoying both sex with a male and sex with a female. Unless he’s filled with an extreme lust, but that isn’t fair to either one of his partners. Being that I’ve been getting this question from women about what to do with their bi-sexual boyfriend I know that there are many women dating bi-sexual men and don’t know it yet.

My question is: do you think it’s fair that he sleeps with a man and sleeps with you? Do you want the instrument that has been inside a man’s rectum then coming and being inserted in you? Do you feel that a man that is feminine enough to be intimate with another man is also masculine enough to lead you and your household? These are just a few questions I’d ask women in this predicament.

Deep down I believe those men truthfully love one and hate the other but are so torn by society that they walk the line instead of choosing a side. If in fact they do want to partake in both men and women then it becomes immaturity, selfishness, greed, and an inability to deny the lust of the flesh.

We are all born with predispositions but it’s our job to war against those things if they are immoral. Heterosexual men that are married like myself have an urge to sleep with other beautiful women just as that bi-sexual man has an urge to sleep with other men. Just because we feel this urge doesn’t make it OK to give into it. A heterosexual man could argue “I was born this way.” So does it make it OK for him to sleep around because he was born that way? Absolutely not. It’s important that we ignore our feelings and obey our conscience. Feelings will get us in trouble.

It’s unfair to any woman to be with a bi-sexual man. I hope that all men would be honest about their sexuality and stop playing the middle and endangering lives and hearts with sexual promiscuity in the name of a biological disposition. Cheating is immoral and it takes maturity to abstain from it.

Let him go and love him from a distance. Pray for his well-being and his sanity on his journey to find self. Don’t be a man’s test dummy waiting to be heart broken. If he’s shown you who he is then believe him and keep it moving.

God bless,

Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

*to submit a question for my blog please email advice@tonygaskins.com

*excuse all typo’s and grammar errors

We must always work at love. It changes with every passing day. What got you here won’t keep you here. Work must always be done to get better. Love is a job that you can’t retire from but the benefits are rich! As our media and the world around us change our love lives will change. People are shaped by what they see and hear and ultimately that changes the way we see our partner. In order to stay ahead of the game we must always be willing to go the extra mile where there is no traffic. There are three things that we must always do when laboring in love.

1. Respect Self: this means that you can never let someone degrade you or strip away at who you are as a person. If you let one offense slide then there will be more to come. The behaviors that you reinforce will be the behaviors that repeat themselves. The things that you stop will no longer exist. You teach your partner how to treat you by what you allow! Behind every good man there is a strong woman! Behind every no-good man there is a weak woman; and vice versa. So stand up for yourself. Respect yourself and teach people how to treat you!

2. Occupy time: this means that when you’re in a relationship you must work! Know what your partner has happening in their life and be apart of it. If you know they have free time then schedule something that the two of you can do together. If you know they have to work overtime then be ready for them when their done or if they work from their own office or at home then sit with them while they work. You must occupy time because an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you don’t consume your partners idle time then something else will. If your partner starts misusing their time or it seems like you’re getting none of it then you need to refer back to #1 and stand up for yourself.

3. Remain unpredictable: in relationships we often tend to get comfortable. We get in a relationship and then we gain a lot of weight or stop doing the things we did to earn the love, trust, and respect of our partner. I can tell you this, when you get complacent you will get replaced. You may still have your spot in their bed but someone else will have your spot in their heart and your spot in the bed will soon be replaced also! So stay on top of your game! Do everything in your power to keep your body in the same shape it was when you met them or make it much better if you weren’t all that hot then. For the ladies: change your hairstyle often, change your nail polish colors, lipstick colors, and style of dress. Be versatile and make him fall in love all over again every few months. For the men: do the things you did to get her over and over again. Keep your body in shape, your mind and your heart in shape also. You can’t give her dinner dates and flowers to get her and then expect a few hugs a week and some chocolates will keep her. When it feels like love is leaving then start all over and win their love the same way you did it the first time.

This is the labor of love! We are never where we need to be and we must always work to get better! What’s here today can be gone tomorrow if we don’t work extra hard to keep it!

God Bless,

Tony Gaskins Jr.

Ladies make sure you grab my new book “Mrs. Right” -> http://amzn.to/AcKPb2

*if you want to submit a question or topic then please email advice@tonygaskins.com

*excuse all typo’s and grammar mistakes. I’m a servant not a writer.

Love is so many things! By the actual definition of love it ranges from a sexual attraction or affection for someone all the way to being “in love.” There is a lot of couples that love one another but are not in love with one another and don’t know it yet.

In case you didn’t know a person can love their partner and still cheat on them with someone else. It happens everyday. Many of you reading this may have cheated emotionally or physically on your partner at sometime but you’d claim that you “love” your partner. That is why so many people ask the question: can you love two people at one time? And the answer is, yes! Love can be very superficial at levels only because there are so many dynamics to LOVE!

You see, love is created. Therefore we can love anyone we desire to. Love is created through conversation and quality time. A bond is formed but not always an eternal bond. There can be love for a reason, season, or a lifetime. It’s the latter that is rarely found.

To love someone can simply mean:

• You care for their well-being
• You’d care if they died
• You’d sacrifice your time
• You’d sacrifice of yourself
• You’re deeply attracted
• You appreciate their role in your life
• You had to work hard enough to get their affection that you created love in the process

But to be “in love” can go much deeper. It’s very possible to be in lust and then fall out of love. If you get what I mean. A lot of people are “in lust” but calling it “in love” and then one day they don’t feel the same and they say they fell out of love. They actually fell out of lust. Very few people fall in love and once you reach that point it’s most often past the point of return and that is why we commit for a lifetime when we marry. Not that marriage is always an accurate depiction of our true feelings; hence divorce exists.

To be in love means:

• Everything that love is… plus
• You put their needs before your own
• You love them from the inside-out (it’s much more than a physical attraction)
• It’s unconditional
• You’re willing to spend a lifetime with them
• You will not cheat
• You will not be dishonest
• You dedicate your existence to bringing them happiness
• and the list could go on for eternity

No one can fully define love because it’s an extension of God. And to say one fully understands all that love is would be saying one can fully understand God and those two will forever be mysterious in many ways.

I can say this; if you can fall in love with God first then it makes it so much easier to fall in love with your partner. You may not understand that until you get there though.

I’ll also say: when you get to the point that you can not cheat on your partner, lie to your partner, deceive your partner, or mislead your partner, at that point you are “in love.” Until then you are in training.

God Bless,

Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

*if you’d like to submit a question for my blog please send it to advice@tonygaskins.com

*please excuse all typos and grammar errors

There are so many of us sleeping with a “friend.” Some call it their boyfriend or girlfriend and many are having sex without a title. With friends and benefits there are no guarantees. At any moment one person can decide to leave and the other person has nothing to show for it but a horrible “soul tie.”

What must be understood is that you’re a brand, an entity, or corporation and you must see yourself as such. You have to understand your worth. Why would you let someone into your corporation and give them all the benefits of a vested employee if they haven’t put in the hours yet? You’re giving so much but you have no commitment in return.

The same goes for sex without a real commitment. The person you’re sexually active with can leave and now you have to add another person to your list of sexual partners. Every person you add to your list of sexual partners is a strike on your relationship resume. When you meet the person that you can partner with for life they will want to check your “relationship resume.” They will want to see if you’ll be an asset or a liability in their life. The more strikes you have on your relationship resume the worse it looks. You appear to be more of a liability. Our past does affect our present sometimes so start doing right in the present in preparation for your future.

There are benefits of friendship but there should never be friendship with benefits. The benefits of friendship should be building on love not lust, building on conversation, trust, and quality time. Don’t build on sexual attraction, lust, and superficial relationships.

If you are a friend giving sexual benefits right now it may be best for you to stop.

Steps to revoking the sexual benefits with a friend:

• Find a time of peace to talk
• Tell your “friend” directly that you are no longer comfortable with sleeping with them or being sexual in any way
• Hear their reaction and respond based on how they react

If they really care for you they will respect your wish and they will ask for the room to step up in your life. If they don’t really care for you then they will find a way to step out of your life. Let the natural occur.

God Bless,

Tony Gaskins Jr.

*if you’d like to submit a question for my blog please send it to advice@tonygaskins.com

*please excuse typos and grammar errors

So many people stay past the point of letting go. We get in a relationship and we give our all and we bring everyone around us in our relationship as well. Before you know it we’re being counted on by so many people. So many people see our highlight reel of a relationship but not our behind the scenes. We get accustomed to shining publicly and struggling privately. Everything in the relationship is a mess and breaking down but we stay because we don’t want to disappoint our supporters or please our haters. We’re staying for the wrong reasons and we know it.

Here are some signs that it’s time to say goodbye:

• You cry more than you smile
• You argue every other day
• You don’t trust your partner
• You’re constantly being physically, verbally, or emotionally abused
• You’ve asked your partner to change over and over and they still haven’t changed
• You’re partner hurts you or disrespects you and has no remorse for doing so
• You feel like you’re in captivity instead of living in freedom
• You fear your partner
• You’ve lost all connection to the outside world

Those are some of the most common signs that it may be time to say goodbye. This is about you, not anyone else. This is about your life and your health. You came into the world alone and you’ll leave alone so you must always make sure that you’re happy. If you’ve done everything that you can do to make it work and it’s still not working then it’s time to walk away from it.

Holding onto someone that’s trying to let you go will only get you dragged through the dirt.

Staying with someone that doesn’t respect you isn’t loyalty; that’s stupidity.

Staying in a toxic relationship isn’t strength; it’s actually weakness.

Love is not pain! It’s actually the opposite!

Thoroughly evaluate the state of your relationship today and make some key decisions to make it better or to call it quits. Only you know where you’re at, what you’ve been through, and where you’d like to be. Make the necessary changes to make sure your future is better than the present.

God Bless,

Tony Gaskins Jr.

www.TonyGaskins.com

*to submit a question for my blog please send it to advice@tonygaskins.com

*please excuse typos

Q: How do I get over my ex?

A: Usually we have trouble getting over our ex because we have formed a “soul tie.”

A “soul tie” is a bond that connects us to that person spiritually. The strongest type of soul tie comes from sex. During sex our spirits conjoin in an attempt to bring us closer but also create another spirit. Even though we may separate ourselves from the person we can still be conjoined spiritually.

Our spirits are an extension of God. He created us to be fruitful and replenish the Earth. He also told us how we should carry our bodies and in what ways we should connect spiritually with others. When we connect sexually outside of marriage we create an ungodly soul tie. This soul tie makes us weak instead of strong. It stresses us instead of comforting us. It breaks us down instead of building us up.

We can leave someone that we were sexually active with and still be fixated on them for months or years.

Symptoms of a soul tie:

Chronic thoughts of the person
Sleepless nights
Loss of appetite
Very emotional/moody
Severe stomach pain or headaches following thoughts of the person
Chronic anger
Chronic fatigue
Constantly arguing with others

The cure for a soul tie is a spiritual break through. It’s our spirit that is conjoined to another human being so it’s our spirit that must be renewed. We must free ourselves of this “tie” by cleansing our mind, body, and spirit.

Tools to break a soul tie:

Prayer
Fasting (a controlled diet to cleanse the body & elevate the mind)
Meditation
Life Coaching
Complete separation from the person (if kids aren’t involved)
Throwing away all memorabilia of the person i.e. clothes, gifts, picutres, etc
TIME (teachings, inspiration, meditation, everyday)

What we must realize is that this is no easy fix! A soul tie is a consequence of a choice we made to be with this person. It’s life. It happens to everyone. We must accept that fact and then take the necessary steps to break the soul time. It will take time. If you give it time but take no action then nothing will change. But if you give it time and take the necessary steps to change it then you will have a break through and you will be able to move on spiritually, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and physically.

With love,
Tony Gaskins Jr.

*if you’d like to submit a question for me to answer in my blog please send it to advice@tonygaskins.com

*excuse all typos, this is a one man show!